My God & My Prayers

I can't remember when was the last time I attended a religious retreat, atleast 6 years. The year 2010 blessed me with one. When i sit down to write this after the second day of retreat many faces came to my mind. Actually these days the urge to write something is so intense that, at the time of attending the retreat itself i started thinking of what to write. Fr.James' calm voice was not enough to make me concentrate, just like the lectures at college, mind wandered but never slept(But Fr.James was an experiance, no compulsion to praise the lord in 100decibels, no heavy speakers and orchestra, it was more or less like looking into an answer paper, helping me understand my problem, simple talk). So while thinking about what to write, the first thing that came to my mind was how I am attending this, why suddenly i became god fearing and pious than the usual sunday mass.

Answers to the question stood in a line,

ONE: since i left college the hole in my heart started growing and its almost empty now, very less friends and that joy of friendship is very low, so was planning to attend one but never thought of this yearly retreat at my very own church.

TWO: one fine day i suddenly realised that i am not a boy anymore and i stood responsible for my words and deeds.It hurt me a lot.I don't know whether it will hurt anyone of you. This part is kind of difficult to explain. I am trying to explain it just to get salvation and bliss.A few years back if somebody says "Njagal hindukkal okke chathu odughiyiitu kanda kristhyani okke avale nokkiyal mathi" was a funny film dialog, but it seems at 24 and a half most people don't take it lightly. Otherwise an accidental overhearing wouldn't have stopped me from going to a temple. It was the 20 year old guy who decided to go to temple to respect my friends' favourite god, but sadly 25 year old man couldn't go there hurting someone else's feelings. A christian MAN going to a hindu temple is not acceptable eventhough with all those lenting, the vice versa also stands. This thought is throughly disturbing in secular India. Anyway this was the second answer.

Whatever be the reasons, i attended it. And it was good and gave me some peace. Some wonderfull thoughts came up during the 3 hours, of which one in particular caught my attention, reason being many of my friends getting married and most of them anxious about married life, so when Fr.James said this it caught my attention. Once a couple came to father, the guy is working in infosys and girl in some other IT firm, they are married for almost 12 years and there are some problems in their life so that they can't adjust. The main complaint was he/she still dont know me even after 12 years. The part I liked is his answer. Father said to the couple,

You might be 40 and 38 years old, but your marriage is still young just 12 years. How can you expect a 12 year old to be mature enough and understand everything....

He didnt say whether the problem with the couple was solved. But the advice sounded too good. So this is to all my friends who are getting married - one toaster, one saree, one shirt and a couple of happy married life wishes is all we can manage during your marriages. It's your responsibility to take care of your new born's(New born i refer to is Marriage ;-))

See how unfocussed i am, started writing with god and ended up in marriages. I am writing for the urge so let it be a mess. But i can't forget to thank somebody for some words i used in here.Hope he reads and acknowledges my thanks...Signing off....